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At this point, the beginning I would like to apologise for the
metaphors I haven’t been well! gaz always said i was sick
Men and women are like dogs and cats. Lets face it men are dogs.
This is not an insult, nor a joke but a carefully considered
analogy. There is no species on earth that has so much in common
with the male of our species than the dog. Let’s analyse
this. The dog is supposed to be a mans best friend. Why do u
think that is? The dog is irrationally faithful to those close to
him. He likes nothing better chasing a ball around the park. He
loves to master tricks and revel in the glory of approbation when
these tricks are performed to a satisfactory degree and when he's
not eating, hes thinking about sex .
Consider this: dogs chase cats, which brings us to another
inescapable conclusion: women are cats! Women like to be pampered
and fed. Women like to be stroked, wined, dined and fawned over
simply because they know they are superior to any other like form
other planet and they deserve it!!!
***Note from seph: for all u guys out there reading this once u
have learned to act like a gentleman in front of the lady your
life will become a great deal simpler!!!***
Dog will not think twice about peeing anywhere. A tree, a lamp
post ,a slow moving leg, if they got to go they got to go with no
second thought
Have u ever seen a cat pee in the street? No. Have u ever seen a
woman pee in the street. I rest my case. Cats are exotic, almost
other worldly beings who bestride the narrow world with poise and
dignity.
Now cats and dogs both have claws, but only cats employ them as
weaponry. Although dogs are more powerful than cats , they
invariably get split up a treat in any cross species encounters,
unless we’re talking bout Rottweilers in which case the cat
will probably be bitten in half.
Ironically the worst thing u can call a woman is a dog or bitch (I
take that from gaz’s personal experiences) yet the phrase
"you old dog" is taken as a compliment. Also dogs drool
, men have just mastered the art of not drooling but we still
drool in our minds
Have u ever noticed how long a cat spends each day cleaning it
self? Ever noticed how long women spend in the "powder rooms"?
see another connection here? Frankly dogs don’t give a shit
but will do one anywhere.
Now dogs desended from wolves and wolves are one of the few
animals that "hang out with the guys" and cats …
well cats are loners
The vast majority of fights in bars involve two men fighting over
a woman in the manner of dogs over a bone (no joke intended).
When fighter pilots engage in combat its called a dog fight. When
women fight its called a cat fight. A brothel is referred to as a
cat-house. When a man upsets his wife he's in the dog house . the
statement ‘pussy’ definitely has a female connection
With that over and this filling a little over a page I thought
rather than waste ink which I can’t afford I thought I would
give u all some advice that I have given before but doubt that
anyone read so here we go
*Answer the phone
*Eat
*Look at your watch
*File your nails
*File your tax returns
*Read the paper
*Talk about marriage
*Fall a sleep and snore
*Answer the phone and tell someone
what your doing
*Blow your nose
*Whistle
*Think to win the sex stakes u always have to finish first
*Call someone else to join in
*Fumble with the remote for the camcorder/web cam to try to
broadcast it to all your mates
*Shout a running commentary about what u are doing to friends
across the street
*Try to get her to do that thing that her sister did to really
turn u on
this really is only a very brief encounter of an entire collection of shyte that crosses my mind every day have fun kiddys
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